What seemed like a blink of an eye, my dark days soon became 7 years. Often I found myself sitting outside smoking a cigarette searching for a sign. I found great comfort watching the leaves dancing as they blew with the wind. Could this be a sign my mind would race? I did not feel much hope as I chose not to believe, instead becoming angry feeling like the universe was laughing at me. I kept a secret which I will share for the first time. Often during my times watching the wind, my hand would heat up. I wondered if the ghost of my mother was touching my hand the same way she consoled me as a child. Now when I see leaves floating in the wind, I look at the shadows wondering if my mother is watching. I found my sign and a new HOPE