death of the family
how do I grieve alone?
do i bathe in my regret,
deny my denial,
contemplate
our contamination.

do i numb myself
with alcohol and opioids —
induce a slow death
fraught with
moments of levity
and others
heavy with poison.

death of the family
how do i heal from this?
isolated by my isolation,
i pretend to forget
when all i can do
is remember.
— family portrait ii