Shortcuts to enlightenment…with the plethora of holy cities in India, this should be an easy task, right? If there is any place to curry favor with my creator, surely it's here.

My initial plan was to go to Dharamsala on a spiritual journey. There, under the tutelage of the Dalai Lama, I could meditate on the transitory nature of this life, and, after much introspection, attempt to achieve Instant Nirvana (a western version, to be sure, but this is a short trip). However, due to poor planning on my part...actually, who am I kidding, due to no planning on my part, I neglected to consider that the Dalai Lama would not be there during my stay in Dharamsala. Some nonsense about a schedule conflict.