When I Grow Up I'll Be Stable: A Photographic Essay

From childhood to my twenties, I always thought that life would calm down as I aged. The notion of stability seemed like an inevitable destination, a place where chaos would finally subside, allowing for a serene and predictable existence. As an adult, however, I’ve learned that things just change—sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse, but always shifting. Chaos, it turns out, is a constant companion, weaving its way through the fabric of our lives regardless of our age or circumstance.

My journey through life has been marked by shifts in environment and perspective, mirroring the transition from childhood optimism to the complexity of adulthood. In my early years, the world seemed full of promise and potential, every day a new adventure waiting to unfold. I envisioned a future where all the pieces of the puzzle would fall into place, creating a clear and orderly picture of what life was meant to be. But as I grew older, I realized that the puzzle pieces are perpetually shifting, forming new patterns that are often unpredictable and sometimes chaotic.

The moments I’m drawn to in my photography often reflect the stillness that I crave amidst this perpetual motion. They are glimpses of tranquility, pockets of calm that stand in stark contrast to the turbulence of everyday life. These images capture the essence of what I seek: a pause, a breath, a moment of clarity in an ever-changing world. They are my way of anchoring myself, of finding a semblance of stability in the midst of chaos.

Each photograph in the series is a testament to the passage of time and the inevitable transformation that comes with it. The scenes I capture are not just snapshots of a particular moment; they are reflections of the journey, each frame telling a story of change and continuity. Whether it’s the soft light of dawn breaking over a still landscape or the quiet resilience of an urban scene, these images remind me that while the world around us may alter dramatically, certain elements remain constant.

These constants—our roots, our shared experiences, our intrinsic need for connection—anchor us in a world that is in constant flux. They are the touchstones that we return to, the familiar threads that run through the tapestry of our lives. In my work, I strive to highlight these enduring elements, to show that even amidst the most profound changes, there is something stable and unchanging that we can hold onto.

The series, "When I Grow Up I'll Be Stable," is both a reflection of my personal journey and a broader commentary on the human experience. It speaks to the universal quest for stability and the realization that stability is not a fixed point but a dynamic state. It’s about finding peace in the knowledge that life is ever-changing and that true stability comes from within—from our ability to adapt, to find stillness in motion, and to embrace the chaos as a natural part of our existence.

In capturing these moments, I hope to convey a sense of hope and resilience. While the future may be uncertain and the path forward unclear, there is beauty to be found in the journey itself. Each photograph is a reminder that life’s changes, with all their unpredictability and chaos, are also opportunities for growth and discovery. Through my lens, I invite viewers to see the world as I do: a place of constant transformation where, amidst the turmoil, moments of stability and peace can always be found.

As I delve deeper into the essence of my work, I am reminded of the different stages of my life and how they have influenced my perspective. Childhood was a time of simplicity and innocence, where the world felt vast and filled with endless possibilities. The photographs from this period capture a sense of wonder and exploration, reflecting the boundless curiosity that defined my early years. These images often feature expansive landscapes, open skies, and the unfiltered joy of discovering the world for the first time.

Adolescence brought with it a heightened awareness of the complexities and challenges of life. The transition from childhood to adulthood was marked by a mix of excitement and uncertainty. My photographs from this era often depict transitional spaces—doorways, bridges, and paths—that symbolize the journey from one stage of life to another. These images convey a sense of movement and change, capturing the essence of a time when the future was both thrilling and daunting.

Entering my twenties, I was met with the harsh realities of adulthood. The responsibilities and expectations of this new phase brought a different kind of challenge. The photographs from this period reflect a search for identity and purpose, often highlighting the juxtaposition between the idealized visions of the future and the reality of the present. Urban scenes, crowded spaces, and moments of solitude are common themes, representing the struggle to find one’s place in a world that is constantly evolving.

Now, as I reflect on my current stage of life, I see a blend of all these experiences. The stability I once sought has taken on a new meaning. It is not a static state but a dynamic process of finding balance amidst the chaos. My recent photographs capture this ongoing journey, focusing on moments of introspection and connection. They emphasize the importance of being present, of finding peace in the here and now, even as the world continues to change.

In essence, "When I Grow Up I'll Be Stable" is a visual narrative of my life’s journey. It is a testament to the idea that stability is not about eliminating chaos but about learning to navigate it with grace and resilience. Through my lens, I aim to share this story, inviting viewers to reflect on their own experiences and find their own moments of stillness in the ever-changing landscape of life.

The Drop

When I Grow Up I'll Be Stable by Jordan Nicolette is Narratiff's fourth installment. The series features 16 1/1s, 3 of which will come with a fine art print.

The Art

'When I Grow UP I'll Be Stable’, curated by Colonna Contemporary as part of the Narratiff exhibition, features 16 artworks. 3 of these artworks include a unique signed single edition print, with digital Certificate of Authenticity using T.R.A.C.E. technology by Transient Labs. T.R.A.C.E. provides a digital Certificate of Authenticity backed by blockchain technology and an NFC chip with its own digital wallet for security. The NFTs will feature Atomic Form's Proof of Exhibition protocol.

About the Artist

Since my early teens, I’ve always been drawn to liminal and less-seen spaces and places. Luckily, I started picking up a camera around the same time. It was several years before I began documenting these places, but when I did, I was completely captivated by the subject matter. It often gave me a sense of calm and peace, something that was lacking during my teenage years and young adulthood. Today I’m just as in awe of these type of spaces and feel lucky to make work that speak to them.