Don't worry, there are things you won't be able to control: not the future, not anxiety, not time, not even memories. Sometimes you'll start to melt before you understand what comes out of that rabbit hole that is within you.
Time will go too slow or too fast, or it will stop and then take a sudden leap. Ideas will slip through your fingers, but you will see them shine, and hopefully you can remember one that then illuminates everything, with its light transformed.
Your memories will be rewritten over and over again. But here is the important thing: there will be no one who can recognise them. Thus, they will change their faces until they die, and you will not have hands with which to grasp them.
Only pleasure will give you something to hold on to.